Everything I hate about this house

I need to have a whinge every once in a while about how crappy this house is, because we desperately need to move somewhere bigger, but:


  • Both of us only have Centrelink income at the moment, which is unlikely to look good on a home loan application.

  • The housing market is pretty hot right now. Even if we sold this house and had a decent amount to put down as a result, how can we know any of our offers would be accepted?

  • Yes, we've thought about selling and renting somewhere, but we have cats, one of which uses the lounge room as her toilet. It's hard enough to find a rental at the moment if you DON'T have pets.



So most of these things could be fixed, yes, but it's not worth it when we plan to move as soon as we're able to. A lot of these things would cost hundreds or thousands of dollars to fix. Which is hundreds or thousands of dollars LESS we'll have when it comes time to buy a new place.



    1. It's too small. Six people and all their stuff just doesn't fit in a house that's no bigger than 90 square metres (about 970 square feet).

    2. We only have two electrical circuits that actually work.

    3. The back door is literally falling apart.

    4. No garage.

    5. No front fence.

    6. Not enough covered space outdoors to hang washing during winter.

    7. The light circuit freaks out whenever a light globe blows and shuts off.

    8. The light fixture in the dining room (which we actually just use for computers) doesn't even work.

    9. There's a possum who lives in the wall between the bathroom and the dining/computer room.

    10. Louvred windows in the kitchen, bathroom, laundry, and toilet.

    11. Enormous concrete double sink in the laundry, which should be awesome except...the drain is blocked, so we just pile stuff on top of it.

    12. The heater can't be set to more than about 18 degrees (64 F) on the coldest nights (when it gets down to freezing or just below), or it'll throw a fit and shut off completely.

    13. Gravity fed hot water system.

    14. It's always either JUST too hot or JUST too cold getting the shower temperature just right.

    15. Separate hot & cold taps in the bathroom. So you either freeze your hands when washing them, or start by freezing them and then slowly work up to burning them.

    16. Tiles falling off the wall in the bathroom.

    17. Paint peeling off the bathroom ceiling, because there's no exhaust fan in there.

    18. I had to convert my built in wardrobe into a second pantry because there's not enough space in the two cupboards in the kitchen.

    19. Speaking of the kitchen, when we had 3 fully working circuits, I had two power points in there. We had double adapters on both to take it to four (one for fridge, one freezer, one for the microwave, one spare). Now that the third circuit has crapped out, I have zero power points.

    20. Because of where my Thermomix is, I have to run a cable from the dining/computer room into the kitchen.

    21. The kitchen cupboard doors keep falling off, because they've fallen off and been put back on multiple times.

    22. We have to run an extension cord from Caleb's room into the laundry room in order to do laundry, because - you guessed it - the two laundry power points are on the third inactive circuit.

    23. Oh, and we have to run another extension cable from Caleb's room to power the fridge and freezer.

    24. Because of the electrical circuit situation, I can't do washing at night or early in the morning when the bedroom heaters are on. Well, I could, if I wanted to trip the circuit.

    25. Everything about this house screams 'afterthought.'

    26. The side fences are falling down.

    27. The house faces southwest, which is great when the cool change comes in - the fresh breeze blows through the whole house. Well, it does the same thing with all the windows and doors closed when we have a cold northeast wind in the winter. And it's FREEZING.

    28. The oven door doesn't shut properly, thanks to a toddler who used to climb up on it and bounce. It's also coming apart.

    29. Chuckie & Micah's room has a sliding door, which Elijah knows how to operate, so he gets in and plays with stuff he shouldn't.

    30. This photo. See that corner with the bench space, next to the oven and the sink section? Do you know what's UNDER that corner bench? Scroll down to find out...




 

NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! What a complete waste of space.

Things I DO like about this house:




  • It's a great location. Close to public transport, shops, playgrounds.

  • It's a good sized block.

  • The neighbours are generally quiet.



So have we thought about knocking down and rebuilding? Yes, but...




  • We'd still have to rent somewhere for about 6 months, which would cost a lot of money, and see above about the cat with toilet problems.

  • We'd either have to have a LOT of money saved up to put down on the building costs, which takes a long time, or increase our loan to the point it's too big a percentage of our income and/or takes too long to pay off.



So yeah. We're kinda stuck right now. And it sucks.


Blogging again.

So I'm blogging again. Or I will be. I guess technically I am right now.

But yeah, here we go. Because I don't trust Facebook to keep the rules the same from day to day. Because almost all my friends are still on Facebook and Instagram. Because even if a lot of my friends do switch to something like Gab or MeWe, I still don't have control over those websites. So I can write whatever I want here and I'll never get cancelled or put in Facebook jail or anything stupid like that. The only person I have to worry about offending is my sysadmin, and I'm married to him, so he can just deal with it. ;-)

How I'm weaning myself from Big Tech

Big Tech is getting to be a problem for many people. No doubt you've heard rumblings of censorship in the last few months. Big tech companies are getting into every part of our lives, and many of us want to get away from that.

But how, when they're so pervasive? Facebook and Google track you everywhere you go. When you come across a recommended product online, it's usually an Amazon link. Microsoft struck deals years ago with PC and laptop manufacturers which requires Windows to be installed on new computers. If you dare to remove it to use another operating system, you void the warranty.

The five biggest tech companies in the world right now are Apple, Microsoft, Amazon, Google, and Facebook. Let's go through each of them one at a time.

Big Tech and the alternatives I'm using



AppleApple logo



I haven't used an Apple device in years. I got an iPhone when I was pregnant and stressed 9 years ago (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!) and regretted it within 6 months. About two years later, I switched to an Android device. I gave away the iPhone to someone who was looking for one and have never looked back.

Apple severely limits what you're able to do with your own device that YOU purchased and own. You can jailbreak it and gain a little more control, but not much.

Microsoft



Apart from an Android keyboard on my phone (which I'm trying to find a replacement for), I also haven't used Microsoft in years. We haven't had Windows installed on even a laptop since 2016. The only thing I ever used Windows for was to file my taxes, and in 2016, the ATO released their online tax filing. Which meant I never had to use Windows again to file my taxes. Yay!

Microsoft logo

So what do I use on my home computer if not Apple or Microsoft products? Open source software. Until 2016, it was FreeBSD (a version of Unix). Since 2016, it's been Linux. Free alternatives for everything you can imagine exist on Linux. In fact, I can't think of a single instance that I can't find a suitable replacement for an Apple or Microsoft product.

My husband and kids still use one Microsoft-owned product, but I don't think they'll be getting off Minecraft anytime soon. ;-)

AmazonAmazon Kindle



Ooh, this one hurts. I loved having Prime, especially living in Australia where shipping costs an arm and a leg. But I can't support a company anymore that actively discourages free speech. So today, I closed my Amazon account for good. I'm still sorting out where I'm going to buy books and things from. I'd prefer to buy from within Australia to support our own economy and to save on shipping costs. If you have a good recommendation, let me know in the comments!

And before you say Book Depository because they have free shipping worldwide, guess what...Amazon owns them too. :-(

Google



This one's going to be hard. But we've been slowly working toward getting off Google for years.

My husband has always been about free, open software, so he's been looking for (and using) big tech alternatives since before we met. We've always had our own email servers, and apart from using a hosting service for my business websites for a few years, we've managed our own web server as well. For a while this was at home, but the downfall of that is if the power goes out (which it often can over summer), we can't access our own email or websites. So a few years ago, he found what's called a VPS (Virtual private server) provider called Vultr to host our services on.



All of our websites (including the one you're reading this on!) are hosted on our Vultr servers.

He set up our own Nextcloud server a few years ago. Nextcloud is an open source alternative to many services - calendar, file storage, chat, email, bookmarks, and more. It offers so many options I can't even list them all! Nextcloud is completely free, and you manage it yourself so you know exactly who's looking at your data.

Nextcloud even offers an app for your phone, so you can automatically upload photos you take and save them to your own personal cloud! You can install a gallery plugin to share photos with others as well.

More Google alternatives



As far as using Google sites themselves, for a start, I've switched my default search engine to DuckDuckGo everywhere that I can. Yes, even Chrome will let you do this. You can also install the DuckDuckGo browser on your phone, which also blocks big tech third party trackers like Google, Facebook, and Amazon by default.

But of course, there are some Google sites that we can't replicate at home. YouTube, for one. It's full of all kinds of content, useful for personal growth, education, entertainment, and news. A couple of people I follow have cloned their channels on a site called LBRY so I'm keeping an eye on that one now.

And I have an Android phone. Which is Google. I can't get away from Google entirely, but I can choose what device I use, based on whether or not it can be rooted (this means being able to gain control of the full device and install your own operating system on it). My current phone can be, and at some point in the near future (once I get the nerve to actually do it!) I'll back everything up and install Lineage OS. Lineage OS allows you to choose how much Google you want on your Android phone. Yes, that means you can actually uninstall Google apps and not just disable them!

Facebook



Of all the big tech companies out there, this one might be the hardest to get rid of. Almost everyone I know is on Facebook. I'm in dozens of groups for homeschoolers, co-ops, budgeting, friends, and the list goes on. Almost my entire family is on Facebook. It's just one of those things people have come to expect.

But isn't it creepy when you mention something to a friend, and a few minutes later an ad shows up on Facebook for exactly what you were talking about? They're always listening.

Alternatives to Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter



But there are alternatives popping up. Parler is a popular one similar to Twitter. They made the news recently due to a mass-exodus from Twitter. Then, the Parler app was removed from Apple and Google stores, and Amazon revoked their hosting account. They're back online as of yesterday, but the platform will take a while to rebuild.

Gab is an option similar to Facebook. Gab was banned from app stores several years ago, when they refused to enact censorship on their platform. So they built their own servers and run everything themselves. Andrew Torba, the founder of Gab, calls it a free speech platform. That means that all speech which is protected by the US constitution is also allowed on Gab. They are funded 100% by user donations.

But my favourite Facebook alternative so far is MeWe. It's free with a paid option, they don't advertise to you, and they don't ban you for daring to question what you see and hear in mainstream media.

MeWe offers groups, pages (for a monthly fee), chat, and events. There isn't a separate app for chat, so it's only one app to install on your phone.

It IS possible to wean yourself off big tech.



It'll take a while, and you have to be persistent, but you can do it. Slowly but surely.

Meal planning that doesn't suck your life away

"Mum, what's for dinner?"

Those are the words every mum dreads, every night. What IS for dinner?

For a very long time, my meal planning was sporadic at best. Sometimes it was nonexistent. Many nights, I'd stand in front of the fridge or freezer, wondering what the heck I was going to pull out of thin air to make a meal with. Many of those nights, I'd end up spending $20 across the road on chicken and chips.

It was not good for our budget, or our health.

So the middle of last year, after listening to Dave Ramsey's The Total Money Makeover (affiliate link), I decided our food budget needed an overhaul. And I was determined to find a way to make meal planning finally WORK for our family.

This is what I've come up with from scouring the interwebs to make my meal planning way easier.

Step 1: Write out any appointments, classes, or other events you're doing this week.



I don't remember if I heard this tip from somewhere else, or came up with it myself. But when I started my meal planning journey in earnest, I created a printable that let me write down not only the meals for each day, but also our activities for each day. This was a game changer.

It meant no longer planning too ambitious a meal for a day when we were busy close to a meal time. If you do want to include take away meals in your budget, these are the nights perfect for them. If your budget can't handle that right now, leftovers or premade meals are your friend here.

Step 2: Make a list of everything in your fridge, freezer, and pantry - especially the things that are getting close to the use-by date.



Taking inventory of your kitchen is a must. It'll help you use up those leftovers and the last of the sour cream tub before it goes mouldy. This, in turn, saves you money. Winning all over the place!

While you're writing your inventory, go ahead and throw out those week-old leftovers that are starting to grow fur. Eww.

Step 3: Create a meal plan from what you have on hand, and create a shopping list as you go.



Jordan Page calls this "shelf cooking" - where you make a meal plan based on what you already have in your kitchen, and supplement with things you buy. It's backwards from what I was doing all along, and it works so much better!

For instance, while doing your inventory, you wrote down pizza bases, passata, and mozzarella cheese. If you also have some leftover roast chicken or other meat you can quickly cook, you've got pizzas just from things you already have at home.

Put a tick or a star by these items (or cross them out) showing that you've come up with a use for them.

Let's say you found some mince in the freezer, and you have a bit of sour cream and salsa in the fridge, and a box of taco shells in the pantry. Obviously you're having tacos one day this week.

But you're out of cheese. You can't have tacos without cheese! So you put cheese on your shopping list.

Do the same with every meal - tick off the ingredients you're using, and write down any you need.

Bonus meal planning tip: Note the forecast for each day of the week.



I live in stinking hot South Australia, so every week during the summer, I jot down the predicted temperature for each day BEFORE I plan my meals. I don't want to be cooking a roast or a lasagna on a day when it's going to be 40 degrees outside. My house is already hot enough, thank you very much!

Who's the boss?

There's a Facebook group that I joined today to help parents forced into homeschooling because of coronavirus concerns. Either their kids' school has closed, or they've voluntarily taken their kids out of school because someone in the family is immunocompromised, or they're just not comfortable sending their kids to school right now. All of those are fair enough reasons.

So I've been commenting on a few posts, trying to help, and I find myself getting agitated at certain questions. Thought I'd do a blog post on it to get my thoughts out, and hopefully not be agitated when I'm trying to help people in there!

Many parents have posted questions about what to do if the school isn't happy that they've pulled their kids out of school. So they've rung the school up in the morning and said their child(ren) won't be in school for a while, and the receptionist has given them a hard time about 'unexcused absences.'

Here's the thing. They don't live with your kids. YOU DO. They don't look after your children's health. YOU DO. They're not the ones who get to make the decisions about whether or not your child attends school. YOU ARE.

So who's the boss? YOU ARE.

All you need to tell the school is this: "Hi, school secretary. My kids will be staying home from school until this pandemic has settled down. I'll let you know when they're coming back. Thanks, bye."

That's it. You don't owe them any more explanation than that.

You can send an email if you don't feel you can stand your ground on the phone or in person. You don't need to lie and say they're sick if they're not. Just calmly state the situation and leave it there.

If they ring you up to hassle you about why your kids aren't in school, you don't have to answer the phone.

You don't need to be rude or arrogant either. Don't stoop to their level if that's where they want to go. Just say, "Sorry, this isn't a good time right now," and hang up.

You can do this. I have faith in you!

So you're being forced to homeschool...

This is the first in a series of homeschool day-in-the-life type posts. I don't know how many installments I'll do. Maybe it'll just be this one. Maybe I'll do it for a week, or two, or several months. We'll see.

See, I know a lot of people are having work shutdowns and their kids' schools closing, and you're kinda being forced to homeschool. And I'm sure that's overwhelming to you since you've always just sent your kids to school like Normal People do. You don't know it any other way.

So here's what I'm gonna do for you. I'm gonna tell you what we did today in our homeschool. Every day, for as long as I can manage it. Because it doesn't have to be stressful, or overwhelming, or ridiculously structured.

And I hope you'll see from my posts that you don't have to be perfect. You don't have to do school every day (gasp!) or even at the same time every day. Home based learning doesn't have to look like school.

So. Grab your cup of coffee and have a read. Or go hide in the toilet and read. Whatever works for you. Here's what we did today.

Monday 16 March, 2020

8:40 Elijah (16 months) wakes me up wanting a feed, but doesn't go back to sleep. He's awake for the day. It's a respectable time to get up (for a homeschooler) so I'm not too fussed. Get up and go to the toilet. Chuckie (8) is reading on the couch.

8:45 Make my cup of tea. Give Elijah some veggies left over from last night's dinner. Sit down and check Facebook, email, laugh at coronavirus memes. Wonder if I should go shopping today instead of Wednesday, because supermarkets appear to be running out of meat. Not good for a family that likes to be keto as much as possible. And the farmer I emailed last night asking about getting a side of beef hasn't responded yet, but he usually doesn't till the middle of the day or evening, so I try to be patient.

9:00 (I think?) Micah (3) is awake and comes out for a cuddle. I tell him to go wee in the shower, but he doesn't make it. So I grab a couple of flat terry nappies to wipe up the puddle in the kitchen...and the bathroom...

9:47 Look at the clock and realise the morning got away from me. Oh well.

9:50 Caleb (12, almost 13) wanders out of his bedroom.

10:00 Darrin wanders out of the bedroom half awake. Yay! I can go shopping WITHOUT KIDS!

10:05 I go get dressed, then check the Adelaide Costco group on Facebook. Apparently it's nuts there, and there's no toilet paper or mince (ground beef/hamburger). So not worth it today.

10:10 Micah comes out carrying a shirt and undies, but no pants, and wearing only his pajama shirt. He puts those on and then I take him outside to find some pants off the washing line.

10:15 I decide I can't be bothered nagging kids about schoolwork today, so I tell them they can have a day off from their workbooks. Everyone's happy.

10:20 All the kids are playing outside now. Peace and quiet inside for a few minutes.

10:30 Leave the house to go to Aldi. Decide on the way out of our street that I'll try the NEW Aldi (which is actually closer, but trickier to get to) instead of my usual one.

10:35 Arrive at Aldi and get my trolley. Go inside and I can't believe my eyes: 99c/kg for bananas! They're upwards of $3.50/kg everywhere else. Grab as much as I can and shove in a produce bag, which breaks and drops my bananas on the floor. Separate them into TWO produce bags, and put them in my trolley.

10:36-11:10 Load up my trolley with meat, veg, random stuff we actually need like washing liquid and paper towels. Yes, we're running low on toilet paper, but we have enough for at least another week, and there's none on the shelves anyway.

11:10 Line up in the checkout queue. Somebody behind me puts the separator bar too close to my stuff and starts unloading their trolley. I have to shove things in wherever they fit. Ugh.

11:25 Check my email in the carpark, and find the first real thing that the coronavirus has disrupted for my family. We had an appointment scheduled with the US consulate on Friday to get our youngest two boys their Consular Reports of Birth Abroad (basically proves that they have US citizenship because they were born to a US citizen), but they've cancelled the trip to do it in Adelaide. So we'll have to wait for a reschedule.

11:30 Arrive home. Big 2 kids unload the car and bring stuff inside. The cat escapes, and Caleb catches him to bring him back in.

11:35 The littlest wants some Mum time, so I sit on the recliner with him. I finally realise that he's probably upset about his wet nappy, so I give him to Caleb to change him. "Can't you smell him?!" he exclaims. Nope, honestly, I didn't smell him. But I'm not sad about that.

12:00 Go in the kitchen and put the food away. Darrin starts an electronics lesson with Chuckie, then a friend rings to ask him something. He's on the phone for roughly forever talking, while the youngest 2 kids compete for the Loudest Child Ever award. I get Caleb to take them outside so it's quieter.

12:30 What, is it that time already? Crap. I haven't even started lunch. Start cooking lunch.

1:15 Lunch is finally ready. Feed everyone, including myself.

1:30 This is the time we were supposed to be at the park doing a nature walk with our homeschool group, but we're still eating. Don't think that's gonna happen for us today.

1:40 Pretty much everyone has finished eating, except Chuckie (who likes to take his time with everything) and Micah. Elijah's ready for his nap, so I feed him and he crashes. I tell Darrin that during this crisis, I probably shouldn't take the little kids to the shops, since they always touch everything. I should go alone. Oh darn. I'm SO upset.

2:12 Darrin's work alarm goes off, so he starts to get ready for work.

2:40-ish Darrin leaves for work. I put Elijah in bed.

2:45 Caleb asks if he can use his computer. I say no because I'm stirring him, but he sulks off to his room anyway. (He does have a tendency to obsess over his computer...)

3:00 Chuckie still isn't finished with his responsibilities (chores, shower, etc.) so I tell him we probably won't get to the park at all because everyone will be going home by now. Oh well.

3:01 Caleb asks again if he can use his computer. I ask him to chill out, and he gives me attitude. I tell him it's entirely possible if he'd reacted differently I would have let him, but not now. "Oh," he says, and heads back to his room.

3:15 Micah wants paper to draw on, but refuses to use the other side of the paper he's already been drawing on. Cue the tantrum.

3:30 I sit down and start to write this epistle.

3:45 Chuckie is finally finished with his list. He asks if he can play on screens, I say yes, but Munzee first (we have a family clan and we need daily activity for prizes).

3:55 Caleb comes out and gets ready to use his computer (the rule is if they're finished with their lists by 4 pm, they can use screens till 6).

4:00 I realise I haven't turned the page on my planner, then notice stray papers on my desk that need to be dealt with.

4:12 It's quiet. The bigger 2 are playing on screens. Micah is watching Chuckie. Elijah is sleeping. Ahh... I decide to laminate some stuff. End up laminating roughly a billion recipes I've printed out over the years and decided to keep. (Only the good ones, not everything.)

4:40 Go help Micah make his bed. Make sure he puts his clothes away. Give him a chore to do (sweeping, it's not gonna be perfect because he's 3 but it gives him something to do).

5:05 Elijah wakes up. I know he'll be up a little late tonight, but I'm not too bothered because he had a nice LONG nap. And I'm making another cup of tea to get me through the evening.

5:15 Sit down while Micah goes to tidy his toys (because he wants to play on screens too!) and the minute I sit down, Elijah starts yelling. He wanted to go in the big boys' bedroom but he's not allowed. Poor baby. So he goes into the lounge and starts eating Micah's lunch leftovers instead.

5:20 Micah comes out of his room yelling, "My hat got broken! Fix it!" Then, "I need to get a new hat!" I fix the hat, check his room, and tell him he can play on the computer for a while.

5:30 Elijah brings Micah's plate over to me and dumps everything on the floor. Rice everywhere.

5:40 I get the dustbuster out of the laundry room and clean up all the rice. Realise I forgot that I had towels in the washing machine that I was bleaching, and needed to soak...so they didn't soak after all. Can't be bothered going back and doing it over again, so I just put the detergent in and run it on the wash cycle.

5:50 The 10 minute warning for the kids to get off screens goes off on my phone. Chuckie puts away his screen (it's running low on battery anyway) and Micah tries to argue that he doesn't need to get off the computer. I tell him no, he doesn't need to YET but he will in 10 minutes.

5:58 Caleb shuts down his computer. I tell you folks, this is MOMENTOUS. Usually I have to nag him for another 5-10 minutes and threaten to switch off the power point to get him off. Today he does it himself with no nagging, and before time's up. I ask him if he's feeling ok, maybe he has coronavirus? He rolls his eyes at me.

6:00 The get off your screens NOW' alarm goes off on my phone. Micah wants to keep playing. I say no, it's time to get off. He screams his little lungs out. I turn off the computer. He screams louder. I pick him up to give him a cuddle. He keeps screaming. I'm almost deaf now. Finally get him calmed down and he goes to watch a short video with his brothers while I try to figure out what we'll have for dinner. I decide there's enough leftovers in the fridge, so I won't cook anything. No problem.

6:10 Move the car out of the way so Caleb can get the bins out to the street for collection in the morning.

6:20 Can't remember if I set the temperature on the washing machine to hot' or not for the white towels. Argh. I don't think I did...

6:25 Make sure everyone goes and grabs some leftovers for dinner.

6:45 Caleb comes out of his bedroom in his pajamas. Already? It's not even 7!

6:50 Decide to make some seed crackers. Mix up all the ingredients while my dinner is in the microwave. Let the cracker mixture sit for 10 minutes while I eat my dinner.

7:20-ish Put the crackers in the oven and bake. Run the load of towels again, this time with hot water.

7:30 Find a puddle on the floor in the lounge room. I ask Micah what happened? He said he did a wee in his pants. ARGH. Send him to the bathroom to clean up, ask Chuckie to get a terry and wipe up the mess. Send Micah to get his jammies on.

7:45 See the video on my timeline from our church, stating that all services and all gatherings have been suspended for 3 weeks. Tell Darrin in our chat. He says he expects to be off work by the end of the week. He's a bus driver. They've started being really meticulous about cleaning the buses and everything, but still...that's a lot of work every night to clean & disinfect every bus. And tram carriage. And train carriage. Fortunately Darrin doesn't have any part of that; he just drives them.

8:05-ish Talk to the kids, at least the older ones, about what's going to happen. The fact that I don't really know what's going to happen, and that their dad might be off work for a while so we won't be able to afford any extra stuff like chicken & chips from across the road, ordering pizza, etc. Caleb's most concerned about his birthday party on the 27th; we're supposed to have a BBQ at the park, but if they start restricting gatherings and things of that nature, we might have to change plans. I'd rather not, but it's a possibility. But thanks to my trip out this morning, at least we have enough food for a couple of weeks.

8:35 Check the crackers. Not quite done. Put them in for another half hour. Go read to Micah.

8:55 Tell Micah it's time to stop reading books and go to bed. He tries to argue with me, of course. But I deflect it the usual way, and he hasn't worked out yet that I can deflect it so easily; I ask him, "do you want to go turn off the light?" Instantly he's agreeable again. So he goes and turns off the light. I ask Caleb to go find Micah's stuffed Minion and his drink. Chuckie comes in to go to bed and climbs up on the top bunk.

9:05 I walk out of the kids' bedroom to go check my crackers again. Now they're done. I leave them on the freezer to cool (we have a chest freezer we use as a cooking surface, because our kitchen is too small). Caleb and I sit down to watch Star Trek: Voyager.

9:50 Voyager finishes. Elijah's still awake and fidgety. Not surprising since he only woke up from his nap 5 hours ago. So we watch another episode.

10:30 The second episode finishes, and Elijah is a total lump on my lap. I get up and put him in bed. He doesn't even need resettling this time, he's so far gone.

10:45-11ish Peel the seed crackers off the baking paper. Can't say I'm a fan of Aldi's baking paper, except the fact that it's wider than the Glad Bake I'd been using previously.

11:10 I check my email and find a message from our Boys Brigade captain. The ANZAC Day events have been cancelled. This means Caleb doesn't have to go to a rehearsal, or the vigil the night before. (About 20 years or so ago, the ANZAC memorial was vandalized the night before ANZAC Day. Since then, youth organisations in & around Adelaide have held a vigil at the memorial to stop it happening again. Boys Brigade is one of the organisations that attends the vigil.)

11:15 Warm up some frozen strawberries in the microwave and pour cream over them for a snack. Caleb finally stops talking about Minecraft, shuts his door, and goes to bed.

11:25 Sit down at my computer to write out the rest of the day, and try to remember approximate times for everything we did today.

11:40 Realise I'm feeling pretty tired, so think about going to bed.

11:45 Start writing the intro to this blog post, then copy & paste everything in. Make a few edits. Hit publish.

Good night!

A day in the life of an introverted mum

I'm thrilled to be part of the Introverted Mom content tour, celebrating the release of Introverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet Joy by Jamie C. Martin. Releases 7 May 2019. Preorder now and get a bunch of bonuses, and (if you're Stateside) it'll arrive in time for Mother's Day.

Because I'm a mum to four kids, the youngest being just shy of 6 months old at the time of this writing, I've left this post till almost the last minute. So the best thing I could come up with is to write about an average day in our house. Which will change in another month because kids grow, seasons change, and nothing ever stays the same. But here's what my life is like now.

Sometime between 7-8 am, I'm awake for the day while my night working husband keeps snoring away. Either one or both of my smaller boys (who sleep in our bedroom with us) has woken me up. I drag my tired self out of bed and change the baby's nappy in the bathroom, at the same time trying to convince my two year old to wee in the shower. He eventually does.

Straight from there, I go into the kitchen, where the two year old says "something to eat, Mum." Which is really code for "I want you to open the fridge so I can play with everything and ask you the name of everything I don't know yet." Sometimes, we manage to both agree on something he can eat before the fridge starts beeping that the door's been left open too long. Other days, I shut the fridge before he's decided and because he's two, he has a meltdown.

I put the baby on the floor or in the high chair while I put the kettle on, and think about what I want to accomplish that day. Sometimes I do the dishes first thing in the morning if I'm feeling ambitious. Other days I make my cup of tea and sit at my computer for ages scrolling through Facebook because I'm just too tired.

My 7 year old usually gets up next. I say good morning, he finds his breakfast and sits down with a book to read. Out of four kids, he's our only introvert. I call him a ninja. Sometimes I forget he's there, he's so quiet. Tell me how two introverted parents end up with THREE extroverted kids. While you're at it, tell me how two introverted parents end up with so many kids in the first place!

Anyway. Eventually the oldest gets up. He's 12. This is when I know I can go out shopping, or get some other stuff done that I can't do while holding a baby. He's pretty competent looking after his little brothers - a bit impatient, but he's 12.

10 am and it's time for the older boys to do their lessons. We homeschool, and they have a certain number of workbooks that they do on their own each day. Twice a week they do maths with their dad. Sometimes, as you'd expect, they complain.

Usually around this time, the baby goes down for his morning cat nap. He'll sleep about 15 minutes in the Ergo - on my front if I'm sitting at my computer, or on my back if I'm working in the kitchen.

After the kids finish their lessons, which SHOULD only take half an hour on a good day, they usually go outside to play. The two year old goes with them.

Around 11 most days, my husband gets out of bed. We're both night owls, which is why he chose to work the shift he's on, but some days the wait to 11:00 feels like an eternity.

Let's call today Tuesday. That's one of the days he does maths with the older boys, and we usually don't have to go anywhere. So after he's up and about, and had his morning caffeine fix (not coffee or tea - Coke), they get their maths books out and talk about that day's lesson.

Usually during the maths lesson, I need to get lunch started. And the baby wants me. And the toddler needs to be supervised. Sometimes it's a struggle to keep everything in check. If the older boys are having a good day, they get through their maths lesson quickly. On other days, one or both need extra motivation. One boy in particular has a tendency to think everything is too hard and might try to avoid his work.

Lunch time comes around, and it's also the baby's nap time. As it always is when Mum wants to sit down and eat! I usually take him into the bedroom and lie down with him to feed him to sleep, then come back to my cold lunch once he's settled.

Then hubby has to get ready for work, which means I'll be on my own with them for the rest of the day. Yep, I get to do bedtime with 4 kids all on my own.

It isn't always as bad as it sounds though. The older two can get themselves ready, and now that the baby has more of a routine, it's just the two year old's inconsistency that throws things into chaos. For now.

But before that happens, there's the afternoon and the evening to get through. And I still, most likely, haven't had a minute to myself since I woke up, unless I actually got to go to the toilet by myself. By this time it's starting to show in my mood, if it hasn't already been obvious. Fortunately (or unfortunately?) we have a convenience store right across the road (literally - our driveway and their exit almost line up perfectly) that sells chocolate. I have no idea how much money I've spent over there on Medicinal Chocolate in the last 12 years, but I'm sure it's a lot.

(I was lucky enough to get on the launch team for Introverted Mom, so I've been reading the book before release date. I'm finding some strategies to get more time to myself throughout the day that I need to start implementing. Things like a mandatory 'quiet time' for everyone - but it's hard to do in a small house, with so many kids, and a baby who doesn't necessarily sleep at the same time each day.)

So the baby's asleep, the older kids may or may not be playing on screens, and the two year old is probably begging me to watch The Wiggles. Because I need a break from the chaos, I let him watch an episode as long as he sits on the potty first.

If I'm very, very lucky, the baby will stay asleep through the Wiggles and I'll get half an hour to an hour of (relative) peace and quiet in my office at the back of the house. I'll sneak my chocolate, listen to podcasts, play computer games, or try to get some work done for a client.

If I'm very, very unlucky, the two year old will fall asleep watching the Wiggles which means he'll be up late. My worst nightmare at the moment.

And now it's dinner time, and kids are starting to get tired, and fight, and melt down over the silliest things. Because my husband works nights, we have our family meal at lunch, and usually leftovers for dinner. So the big kids grab their own from the fridge, one of us gets something for the two year old, and we sit down and eat.

After dinner, depending on what time it is, I'll sit down and watch a TV show with all of them, or let the older three watch a cartoon while I get the baby to sleep. The 7 year old goes to bed at 9, then I watch something with the 12 year old and cuddle the two year old till he falls asleep. 12 year old goes to bed at 10, and if the toddler hasn't had a nap, I'm finally free for the day.

Or at least till the baby wakes up for a feed.

My husband gets home anywhere between 10:30 at night and 1:30 in the morning. If it's an earlier night, we'll sit down and watch something together. If it's one of the late ones, I might watch something by myself, or sit in my office and listen to podcasts till about midnight, when I go to bed myself.

Wow, I'm exhausted just reading that back to myself.

How and when do I get time to myself?

1. When the baby goes to sleep, sometimes I stay in the bedroom and lie next to him for a while, just to be away from everyone else.
2. I go for a walk across the road to get chocolate or peach iced tea.
3. I hide in the toilet longer than I need to be in there.
4. I stay up way too late.
5. I escape to go shopping while the baby's asleep. At least I'm alone for the 5 minutes it takes to drive there!

I've pre-ordered the Audible version of Introverted Mom. That's the best way for me to absorb new content at the moment. I'm so looking forward to that.

You can pre-order your copy from Amazon, Book Depository, Koorong in Australia.


Brain Dump: The best way to get things out of your head

Counting down to the official launch of Piece of Cake: 42 Simple Systems For Your Business in 3 weeks! Today I'm sharing an excerpt from the first chapter, on how to do a brain dump for better productivity. Enjoy, and I hope you take away something useful!

So the first thing I want you to do when you're thinking about new systems for your biz is a brain dump.

"But what the heck is a brain dump?" you ask.

Well, the term is often used in computing circles to mean a complete transfer of information from one place to another. But the other type of brain dump & popularised by David Allen in his book Getting Things Done - is simply writing out everything that's in your head, on paper.

Yes, I said on paper. Or whiteboard, blackboard, chalk on the driveway & whatever floats your boat. But write it out by hand.

Why write by hand? Because there's something about the act of writing down your thoughts that helps to clarify things. I know this from my own experience. I can have a hundred things bouncing around in my head and feel totally overwhelmed, but as soon as I write it all down, it feels manageable. Even though I haven't actually accomplished anything, I feel like now I CAN accomplish something.

And I reckon it'll be the same with you. So go ahead. Grab your writing implement of choice and something to use it on, and do a brain dump.

After the Brain Dump



How are you feeling now? A little less stressed? Or are you more stressed, looking at that huge list of things you have to do?

Don't worry. You don't have to do it all at once, and to be totally honest, you don't even have to do all of it yourself. I guarantee it.

The next step is to look at that list and organise it a little. Which tasks have a deadline? Which ones can you combine, or do in quick succession (such as errands)? Which ones can you delegate to someone else?

You can go crazy with different coloured highlighters (my favourite), put different bullets next to different categories of tasks, or create separate lists of tasks.

(Side note: I just did a mini-brain dump whilst writing this chapter. I wrote down four things that I was thinking about so I can remember to do them later, rather than stopping writing the book to do them now and losing my momentum!)

Once you've sorted your items into different categories or lists, it's time to get to work on them. Go with the most urgent things first & like finding paperwork for a meeting you're having tomorrow morning & and leave non- urgent things for later.

Which things did you decide to delegate? If you haven't delegated anything, go back to the list and find something that someone else can do. Don't argue with me! Just do it. You'll thank me later.

Look, I know how tempting it is to try to do everything yourself. I'm kind of a DIY-er too. So I totally get the percieved extra hassle and cost to delegating or outsourcing tasks. Just ask me how long it took to finally get a house cleaner!

We'll talk more about this in chapter 7, but trust me & you need to delegate some part of your list to someone else. You just can't do it all on your own. Nobody can.

Before long, you'll be crossing things off that list like there's no tomorrow. And doesn't it feel SO GOOD when you cross something off? It kinda makes you want to write down more things just so you can cross them off, too!

Full disclosure: This post contains affiliate links.

It's okay if you're struggling

May and June are always hard months for me.

8 years ago this month, my little boy Ian was born. He died two days later from brain damage suffered during my pregnancy. I've changed a lot since then.

And every year, without fail, I have trouble keeping up with the duties in my business in the weeks leading up to his birthday. Blogging, client work, you name it. Sure, I do it - at least the most important stuff. But the joy isn't there.

Yeah, it's been a few weeks since I had a post up. It bothers me, but I just haven't been in the right frame of mind to come up with new topics.

Last year, I even had a migraine over his birthday - my first one ever. It happened to start in earnest about the time my labor started, and finally eased up about 24 hours later, just after his time of birth.

Coincidence? I doubt it.

The point of this post isn't to have you feel sorry for me. This is my life, and I accept it. The easy bits, the hard bits, and all the bits in between.

But it's occurred to me that hey, this is predictable. This happens Every. Year. So maybe I should plan for it a bit better next year.

For instance, write up a bunch of blog content to schedule over May & June, so that I don't keep putting off writing a new post when hard times come around. Maybe even get a few guest posts.

Struggling? You're not alone.



My point? If you know there's a certain time of year that you always struggle, don't fight it. Plan for it. Get some stuff done ahead of time so you have less to stress about while you're struggling. Outsource something. Drop something off your to-do list that isn't urgent.

And stop beating yourself up for struggling. We all go through hard times. And you do what you gotta to get through them.

The joy will come back - it always does. It'll just take a while, and that's ok.

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