Lost the Bot

Parody of "Lost the Plot" by the Newsboys (parody by Beldin & Weird Alex)



When you're crontab'd again

would you bring me something from the shell?

Hear a rumour that a split is near

But I just got super-opped here



LAG

Let's be blunt

Im a baddly de-synched

what do you want?



Ignores and Kick Bans

are all that Ive got

First I misplaced my password

then I lost the bot



Out amount the invisible clones

While the lamer's spam with their flood's

For a time we stuck to the channel

But they wouldnt let us kick the mug



LAG

Let's be blunt

Im a baddly dy-synched

what do you want?



Once we could hear you

Now our server is shot

We've forgotten out first join

we have lost the bot



When I signed on for the first time

you were typing just like me

and I knew my screen was dirty

And I dropped my space

Then you said I was a luser

and you welcomed me with actions

I was happy ever after

I was counting channel names

since Im waiting for you



When you comin' back again ?

We'll be ready for you

Maybe we'll op you when...

Maybe we'll op you when

You come back again



Pies.

Let's be blunt.

We're a little unhelpfull

what do you want?



Are you still opping?

cause we're obviously not

We've forgotten that first op

We have lost the bot



And why you still msg'n?

you grossed!, we gfot!

Those server's are splitting

and we've lost the bot

lost the bot



When you're crontab'd again

would you bring me something from the shell?

Hear a rumour that a split is near

But I just got super-opped here


Bannermelvan

Parody of "Bannerman" by Steve Taylor (parody by Beldin)



Melvan's Lurking there upon the net,

waits till the channel is created.

Dont you worry 'bout the gfot's youll get?

Are you scared of getting flustered?



The bot get's booted,

She kicks the Biscuit head,

Up goes the topic,

Behave instead!



She dont worry 'bout the critics,

They're never around

She dont worry about the cynics

They dont make a sound

She aint gunna change the world,

But she knows who can!

on #bannerman!



Prime time Dalnet in the Wisconsin Snow

Freezing her little cat yakko

Lifts that kickban when she's had enough

Drinks Dr Pepper like a wakko



She never misses a day

She always spells it wrong

She always talks back, if someone comes along



She dont worry 'bout the critics,

They'll troll for days

She dont worry 'bout the cynics

they're in a daze

She aint gunna change the would,

but she knows who can!

on #bannerman!



Lusers everywhere dying for a chat

But the gotta find a clue first ;-)

Melvan's ready with a big clue bat

Whole lotta bubble's get'n well burst



Every time I see her

I smile a little more

I cant help praying for another gfot war!



She dont worry 'bout the critics,

They're a rough batch

She dont worry 'bout the cynics

they're really no match

She aint gunna change the would,

but she knows who can!

on #bannerman!


Beat-Up Chevy Nova

Parody of "Champagne Supernova" by Oasis (parody by Weird Alex)



How many filters have I changed?

How many sparkplugs rearranged?

Where were you when my gas tank ran dry?

Look through my past I can't recall

When last I drove down to the mall

Where were you when my gas tank ran dry?



Someday you will find me

Sitting at the roadside

In a Beat-Up Chevy Nova

At the side

Someday you will find me

Sitting at the roadside

In a Beat-Up Chevy Nova

A Beat-Up Chevy Nova

At the side



Wake up and start the car or try

Hearing it whine I start to cry

Where were you when my gas tank ran dry?

Look through my past I can't recall

When last I drove down to the mall

Where were you when my gas tank ran dry?



Someday you will find me

Sitting at the roadside

In a Beat-Up Chevy Nova

At the side

Someday you will find me

Sitting at the roadside

In a Beat-Up Chevy Nova

A Beat-Up Chevy Nova



Cos though the motor's toast

The starter smokes

And all the cylinders are fried

Still I know that it'll start for me

If only I just try, try, try, try



How many filters have I changed?

How many sparkplugs rearranged?

Where were you when my gas tank ran dry?

When my gas tank ran dry?


Playdoh

Parody of "Layla" by Eric Clapton (parody by Weird Alex)



What do I do when I get lonely?

Nobody round, nothing to do

I just grab a bowl

Of good old playdoh

And then I don't feel half so blue



Playdoh

You got me sculpting trees

Playdoh

Dogs with little fleas

Playdoh

The only thing can ease my troubled mind



Make the best of the situation

Which colour should I use to play?

Maybe the green, the yellow, red or blue

Mix them all they turn to grey



Playdoh

You got me sculpting trees

Playdoh

Dogs with little fleas

Playdoh

The only thing can ease my troubled mind



(repeat chorus to fade...)


Spam Rap

Parody of "Bad Rap" by Steve Taylor (parody by Weird Alex)



Now L.A. shrimp and N.Y. beef

Have been mixing lately, great to eat

While Midwest good old boys like me

Have all been pouring ketchup, see

Onto our plates of fries in throngs

And guess who's eating egg foo yong

Well drop your ideas about food

And listen to me, don't be crude



Who you tryin' to kid kid?

If you don't eat Spam you just ain't cool

Who you tryin' to kid kid?

Spam's the only thing that makes me drool

Got your head together now?

I got a food that's better now

Who you tryin' to kid kid?

Say what? Spam Rap, uh-huh



You look for snails, you look for eels

You like what makes expensive meals

But you diss that stuff that's in the can

Would not want to eat no Spam

Ham, eggs, beans or corn

Whatever makes you blow your horn

Just remeber when you eat

There's just one food that can't be beat



Who you tryin' to kid kid?

Spam is where it's at and that's the facts

Who you tryin' to kid kid?

You don't eat Spam, might as well eat wax

Got your head together now?

I got a food that's better now

Who you tryin' to kid, kid?

Say what? Spam Rap, uh-huh



You'll march all day for cheese souffle

A lover of soup-of-the-day

No time for food comes from a tin

Food with a key that lets you in

Instead you want nice foods with cloves

Of garlic, spice, and stuff like those

You say spam is a food for a mind that's closed?

You guzzle your food and blow it out your nose!



Who you tryin' to kid kid?

To my hip-hop band who won't eat their spam

Who you tryin' to kid kid?

To the guy who took flight "Cooking chicken tonight!"

Got your head together now?

I got a food that's better now

Who you tryin' to kid kid?

Say what? Spam Rap, uh-huh



Can't understand those spam freaks so

You type us all in stereo

"Their food, it's bad, it smells so gross"

But you've never had spam on toast



Spam Rap, uh-huh



So now you're mad, who is this guy

To say that spam's what we should fry

Well, let's just say, at very least

A guy that thinks spam is a feast!



Spam rap, uh-huh

Pork and ham inside a can

With some spice it's very nice


Put A Little Gum In Your Cart

Parody of "Put a Little Love in Your Heart" by Al Green & Annie Lennox (parody by Weird Alex)



Please lend a helping hand

To the old factory man

Put a little gum in your cart

When you are bored and you

Need something there to chew

Put a little gum in your cart



And the world will be a better place

And the world will be a better place

For you and me

Just wait and see



Cause when you buy some gum

The world don't seem so glum

Put a little gum in your cart

Push the cart through the store

Just need that little more?

Put a little gum in your cart



And the world will be a better place

And the world will be a better place

For you and me

Just wait and see



You give supply and demand

A little helping hand when

You put a little gum in your cart

Economists smile

Their theories go that extra mile if you

Put a little gum in your cart



And the world will be a better place

And the world will be a better place

For you and me

You just wait and see!



Cuz you put a little gum in your cart

(Helped the capitalism thing)

Put a little gum in your cart

(Helped the workers buy some things)

Put a little gum in your cart...


Skiing Hills

Parody of "Jingle Bells" (parody by Weird Alex)



Dashing through the snow

On a brand new pair of skis

O'er the hills I go

Crashing into trees

All the trees fall down

Make me look like a clown

Oh what fun it is to ride

An ambulance to town!



Skiing Hills

Skiing Hills

Crashing all the way

Oh what fun it is to crash down skiing hills to day!

(Repeat)



A week or two ago

I heard of a new hill

So I thought I'd go

And try it for a thrill

The hill was mighty steep

When I woke from my sleep

I couldn't figure where I was

Till I heard the IV beep...



Chorus


Bugs

Parody of "Smug" by Steve Taylor (parody by Weird Alex)



Find them in your clothes

Maybe in your hair

Crawling in your nightie

Tromping down the stairs

Almost anywhere

(Ooh, just like mice!)



Practice in a mirror

Hunting them like deer

Very sincere

A promising career could begin right here at home

If you like them bugs, them bugs...



Hey mama, hey mama look at what your little babies all gone and done

Hey mama, hey mama don't you ever wish you'd gone and been a nun?

Not vain, not fickle, maybe weaned on a pickle

Must be in our blood

Rome's flambeeing, we're okaying bugs



Find some more of those

Little gnats and ticks

Smother them with ketchup

Get your buggy fix

We love the nightcrawlers

We love the bugs underneath the hedge

Find some more bugs

Eat them like a man

One part little spiders

Two part drosophilan

Or is that more than you can stand?

My, my, don't you like bugs?

Scary, scary, scary, scary



Hey mama, hey mama look at what your little babies all gone and done

Hey mama, hey mama don't you ever wish you'd gone and been a nun?

Not vain, not fickle, maybe weaned on a pickle

Must be in our blood

Rome's flambeeing, we're okaying bugs



All you bug-starved millions just a looking for more

Welcome to our store!

What you wanna munch?

We can help you eat lunch from little sugar ants to great big bugs

Bugs from the homes of our country club brethren

Scraped fresh from a tomb

Or maybe from the bottom of a locker room broom

Now what's the matter? Hey?

Looking for cheese? That part don't come till later!

The chef will not be pleased...



Hey mama, hey mama look at what your little babies all gone and done

Hey mama, hey mama don't you ever wish you'd gone and been a nun?

Not vain, not fickle, maybe weaned on a pickle

Must be in our blood

Rome's flambeeing, we're okaying

Rome is frying, we're all trying

Rome is heating, now we're eating

Bugs.



(Voiceover on fadeout:)

"I wanna talk to you about bugs, people. You think they're so good? No, they ain't good, and I wanna tell you why. You wanna eat a good bug, you come to me. You lookin for some insects? Cuz I got 'em. You lookin for some arachnids? Cuz I got 'em. They're good, they're crunchy, they're better than yours! You look at me and you say, brother, how can I find such bugs. Well, I'll tell ya. It took me a long time! I've arrived! I'm alive! I've got the best bugs!..."


On the IRC

Parody of "On the Fritz" by Steve Taylor" (parody by FadeAway)



Dedicated to the addicts of #bannerman



Your new account was set

So you got on the Net



You surfed around for stuff

'Twas innocent enough



Web gave way to yet another download

Then you thought you'd try to lurk

First they got you chatting on the weekend

Now they've got you living at work



(chorus)

On the IRC!

On the IRC!

There you lurk

On the IRC!



You're on ten channels now

(Your buddies wonder how)

On the IRC



/LIST's runaway again

It seems to have no end

On the IRC



Too much chat will give you carpal tunnel

But you knew the stakes were high

First you opened one or two windows

Now you're sending wavs to some guy

On the IRC!



(chorus...)



(spoken)

So you say you're not addicted, that it's just a phase

So they love Steve Taylor in #bannerman .. does it consume your days?

It's too late for logging out when you're requesting pics

Now friends you knew in Real Life are only /nicks ...



Your alter ego's there

And it's no small affair

On the IRC!



You've got your slaps in place

'Cause they can't see your face...

On the IRC!



I-R-C has got into your noggin

It should come as no surprise

No one sees you, go ahead and login

If you don't limit yourself --

Time flies ..



On the IRC!

On the IRC!

There you lurk

On the IRC!



(chorus...)



(shouted)

Going online, on the IRC!



(chorus...)



(shouted)

Hey! Time flies on the IRC!

(chorus...fade out)


Nobody Knows You When Your Server's Out

Parody of "Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out" by Eric Clapton (parody by Weird Alex)



Once I surfed the Web like a millionaire

Chatted IRC like I didn't have a care

Helped all my good friends to go online

Taught them JAVA, FTP and MIME

Then when I saw my connection was slow

Took longer to get me where I wanted to go

If I get my hands on an ISDN

I'll begin my mass downloads again

because



Nobody knows you when your server's out.

As for bots, you don't have any,

As for friends, can't chat with many

When you get back on the net again

Everybody wants to be your email friend

I'll say it straight, without any doubt

Nobody knows you, when your server's out



(modem solo)

(repeat chorus then)



Nobody knows you

Nobody knows you

Nobody knows you when your server's out


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