1. “Under penalty of law, this tag not to be removed except by consumer.” I only noticed this the other day when I bought some new pillows, and tore the tags off so they wouldn’t make noise while I’m trying to sleep.

2. Food boxes with a little perforated tab that says “Press here to open,” but no matter how hard you press the tab, the perforation doesn’t break. Aussie food boxes with perforated tabs actually work the way they’re supposed to.

3. “No shirt, no shoes, no service.”