Coffee Grinder

Parody of “Monkey Grinder” by Chagall Guevara (parody by P-D)

it’s six a.m.

monday morning

put my robe on and trip on my shoe

already smell the

heady aroma

emanating from my

favourite morning brew


fingers go tight

across formica

my cup is reeled in

from the counter to my maw

who knows factually a coffee’s caffine count?

it could be three parts per a million or as much as half an ounce

all you java junkies shakin’ through your daily routine

have you heard the scream of the coffee grinder?

don’t you worry

the coffee’s brewing

I ground us up a new batch

french vanilla gonna get you buzzin’

from the morning until night

…if you drink enough…

and the “joe” it goes down

heart-beat quickens

nerves all vibrate

’til your body’s hummin’


I can’t find my favourite beans

and my neighbor says hers disappeared last week

and there’s a rumour goin’ ’round ’bout a big price increase

and I hear it’s got something to do with Brazil

some say it’s a drought year

some say that it’s an early frost

there’s panic in the beverage aisles

better start your own horde


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