Issue #61, 11 January 1997

FFFFFFFFF       M       M       EEEEEEEEE
F               MM     MM       E               Farm Macheenery
F               M M   M M       E                 (exploding)
FFFFF           M  M M  M       EEEEE              Issue #61
F               M   M   M       E
F               M       M       E
F               M       M       EEEEEEEEE
The Writers (in no particular order):
Renee Elrod (aka eener):
Melissa Hoffmeyer (aka melvan):

Extra Staff:
Andy Hoffmeyer (aka Elkvis)
--mel's brother & computer expert

FME on the web:

Due to circumstances beyond our control (i.e. we've been lazy the last
couple of weeks), FME is going to be very short this week.  There will be
NO Wise Sage letters, NO ATTB, NO Fruit Bats, just something stoopid that
melvan dreamed up late one night when she finally decided she better do
something for FME.

STOP!!!  I'm wrong.  There IS something that's going into FME this week.
It is parts of a log from irc from when eener met PattyT (Patty Tracey), a
subscriber and fellow IRC addict over Christmas vacation.  I intended to
include the entire log, but it would be waaaaaaaaaaay too long and you'd
get bored pretty quickly.  Beward...oops, i mean "beware"...the following
may not make sense.  It may shock you.  It may cause you to run out into
the streets of your village, town, city, and/or bowling alley and scream

BTW...When you see the line about "she's officially ringed now!", yes,
it's official...RENEE IS ENGAGED!

[18:35] melvan ( joined #bannerman.
[18:46] PattyT ( joined #bannerman.
[18:46]  mel!
[18:46]  hi!
[18:46]  I'm at eener's :)
[18:46]  cool!
[18:47]  tell her hi! :)
[18:47]  she's here beside me :)
[18:47]  hi eener!
[18:47]  oh yah! she's officially ringed now!
[18:47]  er.. betrothed..
[18:47]  oooooh :)
[18:47]  for real tho!
[18:47]  not just a moo#b or so#m
[18:48]  i know :)
[18:49]  (psst.. you're gonna have to send her a unibomber
package.. she showed me the pic of you two in them weird clothes!)
[18:50]  oh no...
[18:50] Action: melvan hides under a rock
[18:50]  she also showed me the inside joke painting :)
[18:50]  lol
[18:50]  great :)
[18:50]  I have been accepted into the club! I am elite!
[18:51]  oh yah, we watched Steve's Squint video, and Toy Story!
[18:51]  grooovy
[18:51] Action: PattyT luvs eener's laugh
[18:51]  oh yah! the kitty..
[18:51]  ask her if she's done reading the book yet
[18:51]  Darin was in his room watching football, and he started
screaming (YOOOOOOO!!!)
[18:51]  so I started screaming
[18:51]  lol
[18:52]  and kitty went *RUNNINGF*!
[18:52]  yeah, i heard dallas won
[18:52]  er.. Running
[18:52]  faster then GUMP!
[18:52]  and he was all over
[18:52]  and so I went up right behind him and screamed
[18:52]  lol
[18:52]  and he went *RUNNING* again!
[18:52]  poor cat :)
[18:52]  and then the leg braces he wore came tearing off
[18:52]  and he ran through the gate
[18:52]  leg braces?
[18:52]  and got older in about three seconds
[18:53]  and then ran past a football field
[18:53]  and the coach saw him
[18:53]  and said "who was that boy?"
[18:53]  and the assistant coach said "that was Bo.. Bo Diddly"
[18:53]  and he kept running!
[18:54]  and running and running all over the place!
[18:54]  Een's on teh floor
[18:54]  lol
[18:54]  and the viens on my neck are popping out
[18:54]  there's blood squirting everywhere
[18:54]  and the kitty..he's stil runing
[18:54]  and then he was on the all star team
[18:54]  and he got to meet the president!
[18:54]  ooooh!
[18:54]  then he was recruited for the ARMY!
[18:55]  and Bo Diddly met Bubba Hankock!
[18:55]  Hancock..
[18:55] Action: melvan sneezes
[18:55]  and Bubba got him interested in Mouses
[18:55]  and then Bubba died
[18:56]  well.. then, Bo Diddly saved the life of his Captain..
but his captain hated him because he smelled like mices
[18:56]  and then in the hospital, Bo Diddly was eating a mouse,
and tried to give one to the captain
[18:56]  but the captain threw Bo to the floor
[18:56] Action: melvan thinks renee & darin fed patty the severed head in
the fridge
[18:57]  so Bo got mad, and started playing ping pon
[18:57]  lol.. no, just the eyeballs and hair
[18:57]  in fact, it tasted like chicken hair!
[18:57]  lol

[18:57]  so.. anyway, back to Bo Diddly.. he got mad and started
playing ping ponG
[18:58]  and he was runninG and playing ping ponG
[18:58]  life is like a box of severed mices heads
[18:58]  what???
[18:58]  that's what his mammy always told him
[18:58]  so, anyway.. he got to go to china
[18:59]  and he was happy there, 'cause there were no dogs
[18:59]  (they export them to Vietnam, and there's no dogs there
either, for different reasons)
[18:59]  and they offered him all these great paddles
[18:59]  but he wouldn't take any
[18:59]  'cause he liked his old one
[18:59]  then one day he was on TV and his captain tried to kill
[19:00]  so then his captain went rolling (on those little balls
with the bells trapped in 'em) down the stairs
[19:00]  and then he liked Bo Diddly
[19:00]  'cause Bo didn't smell like Mices anymore
[19:01]  so captain took Bo back to his appartment
[19:01]  and then he started screaming at the football game, and
Bo was RUNNIN*G* again!
[19:01]  and he ran and ran!
[19:01]  and he just kept running!
[19:01]  everywhere he went, he ran!
[19:01]  and then his leg braces came off (oh wait, I'm
repeating.. wrong part of the story)
[19:01]  lol
[19:01]  ok.. so, the captain took Bo back to his aparement
[19:01]  er.. apartment
[19:02]  (that extra E from the picture just keeps getting in the
[19:02]  hehe
[19:02]  (psst.. two words for ya.. Carpel Tunnel Syndrome.... er
wait.. I need Lifey's counting skills, that looks like more then two
[19:03]  and then Bo jumped thru the distorted O, that was a
secret of the secret firemen
[19:03]  distorted O?
[19:03]  ('cause they put out secret fires.. and they have a fire
truck modem.. that's how they get where they gotta go
[19:03]  and there's a blinking bulb on the map in the
in the map on the wall)
[19:04]  ok, sorry.. een and I got some new jokes
[19:04]  uh....
[19:04]  it's that severed head chicken hair
[19:05]  lol
[19:06]  what have you two been drinking? :)
[19:06]  I been drinking snop
[19:07]  lol
[19:07]  from the severed head.. the snop coming outta the nose
[19:07]  oh! of course...
[19:07] Action: melvan has a picture of the poster
[19:07]  well, Bo Diddly hides from me now
[19:07]  lol
[19:07]  look at the peeg :)
[19:07]  upside down
[19:07]  yup :)
[19:07]  did she explain any of the jokes?
[19:08]  it's a curved b, fancy A
[19:08]  A
[19:08]  ack!
[19:08]  A's, and a d :)
[19:08]  BAAD
[19:08]  yah, she explained all
[19:08] Action: PattyT wants a manner boy
[19:08]  lol
[19:08] Action: PattyT likes Kinkle's too
[19:08]  I want a kinkle! sayeth the eener
[19:08] Action: melvan is about ready to fall over on the floor
[19:09] Action: PattyT hangs holding on the the chair, suspended in the
air (oh oh! my mom's not gonna like hearing I got suspended!) but I
haven't fallen on the floor!
[19:14] bjfrary ( joined #bannerman.
[19:14]  lol
[19:14]  hi bjfrary
[19:14]  hi bj, how are ya?
[19:15]  Type here and hit 'Enter' key to send.OK
[19:15]  first time on??
[19:15]  Yes
[19:15]  lol.. welcome here!
[19:15]  how'd you find us?
[19:16] Action: PattyT thinks she heard the maniacle laffter coming from
the room, saw the blood from the vein in my neck that popped out leaking
under the door, and heard the Bo Diddly runnin*g* around!
[19:16]  een says "oh man! you're gonna injure me"
[19:16]  bj, just because you're so cool, I'm gonna introduce you
to the guy I'm betrothed to:
[19:16] bjfrary ( left #bannerman.
[19:17]  bj, this is Lifebot.. Lifey Hunney, this is the dead,
absent, scared away bj
[19:17]  lol! that one only took a few seconds!
[19:17]  my time is reducing! I am a pro weirdo!!
[19:17]  YAWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[19:17]  lol
[19:17] Action: PattyT thinks I'm close to being weird then you and een
[19:18]  well, you ARE weird :)
[19:18] Action: PattyT isn't sure if I'm grinning or what
[19:26] Action: melvan puts in disc 3 of the weird al box set
[19:29]  :)
[19:29] Nick change: PattyT -> eener
[19:29]  eener!!
[19:29] Action: eener picks cat hair out of her mouth
[19:30]  ptah!
[19:30]  eew
[19:30]  patty is drawing a picture of the lag bolt...the new irc
[19:30]  (har!)
[19:30]  ooh!
[19:34]  patty's inventing some irc superheros here...
[19:34]  ping pawn
[19:34]  and
[19:34]  oooh...
[19:35]  lagbolt
[19:35]  Asdkflj
[19:35]  you know you're addicted to irc make up irc
[19:35]  if i left all my typos in my lines, you'd LOVE it
[19:36]  i'm officially engaged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[19:36]  he proposed to me yesterday!
[19:36]  woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[19:36]  at work no l
[19:36]  no less!
[19:36]  *grin*
[19:36]  it's on tape...
[19:36]  right after the ball of twine
[19:36]  lol
[19:36]  :)
[19:40]  WOW!!
[19:40]  HE'S ALIVE!!!!!!!
[19:40]  ALIVE!!!!!!!!!
[19:40]  aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!
[19:40]  hmm, well the nick is registered
[19:41]  AAAAHHH!!!!
[19:41]  okay, i'll turn off capslock now
[19:42]  btw, darin took a pic of patty and me, so we'll scan it
for the bannerman page
[19:42]  !
[19:42]  cool :)
[19:42]  we are giants, next to the
[19:43]  the christmas tree is really a martian in disguise
[19:43]  uh...
[19:43]  a e i o u and sometimes y


Come visit the Macheen Shed:

This document is copyright 1997 by Renee Elrod and Melissa Hoffmeyer,
except for the poems, stories, and letters sent by other people.  Feel
free to distribute this document far and wide as long as it is not
changed in any way.  FME reserves the right to edit any material sent in
(in regards to punctuation, spelling, content, AND bacon).