FFFFFFFFF M M EEEEEEEEE F MM MM E Farm Macheenery F M M M M E (exploding) FFFFF M M M M EEEEE Issue #50 F M M M E F M M E F M M EEEEEEEEE +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ The Writers (in no particular order): Renee Elrod (aka eener): email@example.com Melissa Hoffmeyer (aka melvan): firstname.lastname@example.org Extra Staff: Andy Hoffmeyer (aka Elkvis) --mel's brother & computer expert FME on the web: http://www.wildstar.net/~melvan/macheen/ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ *fumbling around desk* Where is that intro? I know I had it here somewhere...*moves notebooks* What the heck did I do with it? It was here just a minute ago...darn, I guess I'll have to wing it... HELLO! Issue #50! Wow! That's a lot! Do you care! I didn't think so! Goodbye! #################### AS THE TRACTOR BURNS @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ The Characters: Raul: played by Jim Varney Esmerelda: played by Roseanne I.M. Gilty: played by O.J. Simpson Howard Stern: played by Barney the Dinosaur Al Rightithen: played by Jim Carrey Buffy: played by Princess Di Last week on ATTB, all the characters were stranded in a painting... The scene: a small antiques store in Iowa... Raul: Whew! How did we get out of that painting?? I.M.: Well...I've come to the conclusion that the writers of this throw us around from one location to another with no apparent rhyme or reason... Buffy: It's probably because they watch old "Tom and Jerry" cartoons too much. Buffy: Umm...oh, never mind...I just had a line. Al: Geez Buffy, are you trying to hog the lines again??? Esmerelda: HEY! We're in that stupid antiques store again! They must be getting short on interesting sets or something... (A large line of text rolls across the set..it reads "The End") Buffy: WAIT A MINUTE!! We're not done with this episode yet!!!!! Howard: Uhhhh...yeah, what she said. Soundtrack: Begins to play Y.M.C.A. ....the last we see of the characters, they are doing the motions to the song Y.M.C.A... join us next week.... *************** * Wise Sage * *************** **Do you have one of those questions that keeps you up at night, wondering? Ask the Wise Sage! Email email@example.com with your question Dear Wizes age, What came first, the chicken or the egg? Signed, WallPhone Dear WallPhone, Actually, it was neither the chicken nor the egg. It was the lips. Wise Sage ************************* Fruit Bats in Your Toilet ************************* **To see your original, funny stories, poems, ideas, or whatever in this section, email firstname.lastname@example.org From one M. Dale Prins... I've been in a poetry writing frenzy lately (both serious and humorous), so I've decided to send you four of the better funny ones for your approval: my love my true, true love is a rose bush, wearing blood-red flowers of peace, love, and happiness. but I don't go out with chicks that have three arms, so I dumped her. i love my thesaurus my formerly contrite, blithe heart is azure, morose, rueful, desirous, disconsolate. i'm not sure what that means, but i'm sure it's very true. There once was a man from New Jersey There once was a man from New Jersey Who lived in a state called New Jersey He was born in this state And lived in this state Yes, he lived in a state called New Jersey. There once was a man from Berlin There once was a man from Berlin Who wrote for his friends and his kin He typed novels and plays For all of his days But couldn't complete one dang lim. mdp. ------------------ URGENT FME NEWS!!! ------------------ sheesh...now that the anniversary issue is over, there's no news...BUT go see the anniversary issue anyway! http://www.wildstar.net/~melvan/macheen/anniversary/ BTW, due to complaints about the background, I have removed it...so now you can read stuff. ---------------- Dumb Poetry in a Card Type Trash ---------------- Annoying -------- I am at the movies... I crunch on delicious movie popcorn that is smothered with butter and dusted with salt... ACK!! I got a popcorn kernel stuck in my gums again... and one between my teeth... Heeeelp me! eener not working... -------------- trying to write dumb poetry while watching cartoons... is just not working! I went to the arcade today... got beat in air hockey... I really like air hockey. Gee... doyoureallycare?? eener life. ----- the cat broke his leg my dad fixed the car i got my paycheck the dog is a moron there is duct tape on my window screen the leaves turn colors in the fall i need a newsgroup for gfot recovery the mail came at 2:00 today and there is a little bug that says elkvis is an offensive name. melvan Abstract -------- The small mouse scampers across the floor A cat on the other side of the room Watches Twitches Intent... The cat's eyes glitter in the dark... The mouse senses danger... He stops. He does the Macarena. The cat joins in. And suddenly...Geraldo walks into the room!! He announces "Cats and mice who do the macarena... and the women who love them...on our next show!" eener the pit. -------- there is a large hole in my sock. melvan :):):):):):):):):):):):):):) Come visit the Macheen Shed: http://www.wildstar.net/~melvan/macheen/ This document is copyright 1996 by Renee Elrod and Melissa Hoffmeyer, except for the poems, stories, and letters sent by other people. Feel free to distribute this document far and wide as long as it is not changed in any way. FME reserves the right to edit any material sent in (in regards to punctuation, spelling, content, AND bacon).