Thewriters M M arestoopid F MM MM E Farm Macheenery F M M M M E (exploding) FFFFF M M M M EEEEE Issue #33? F M M M E F M M E F M M EEEEEEEEE +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ The Writers (in no particular order): Renee Elrod (aka eener): re11@uwrf.edu Melissa Hoffmeyer (aka melvan): melvan@pressenter.com Extra Staff: Andy Hoffmeyer (aka Elkvis) --DP's brother & computer expert FME on the web: http://www.pressenter.com/~melvan/macheen/ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Okay guys...this week we don't remember which issue this is, so if you can tell us...YOU WIN A MILLION DOLLARS!!!! Just kidding. We can't afford that kind of prize money. This is a free zine, remember? #################### AS THE TRACTOR BURNS @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ The Characters: Raul: played by Jim Varney Esmerelda: played by Roseanne I.M. Gilty: played by O.J. Simpson Howard Stern: played by Barney the Dinosaur Al Rightithen: played by Jim Carrey Buffy: played by Princess Di Last week on ATTB, we don't know what happened because we don't have last week's issue anywhere near the computer we happen to be writing this issue on...something having to do with Al's Presidential campaign... So, I'm sure you'll understand if this week's episode doesn't quite follow what happened last week...not like it would have anyway... FLASHBACK TO 1965...ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE BABIES OR TODDLERS... Raul: Do any of you know what's going on? Buffy: *looks around* Um....nope!! Al: WAAAAAAH!!!!!! Howard: You all are poopy heads!!! I.M.: (whining) I am not!!! Howard: Are too! I.M.: Am not!!! Howard: Are too are too are TOO!!! I.M.: Am not am not am NOT!!!! Al: *throws a stuffed pig at Howard* You're stupid! Howard: *grabs the pig and tears its head off* Wow! Everyone look at this...there's money inside this pig! Esmerelda: That's not money... Al: I kin use this money for when I become president, when I'm a grown-up! FLASHFORWARD TO 1996...ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE BABIES OR TODDLERS... Howard: Hey you **%&$&$& people...let's get moving on this campaign work! Al: What, is it time for the bus tour already? Yippee!!!! *singing* We get to go for a ride, we get to go for a ride... Buffy: *slaps Al with her purse* Grow up, Al...we've already got a lunatic for a President. Join us next week, when we actually figure out what happens...or not.... AND NOW...ELEPHANT ICONS!!! :?) Basic elephant :) Elephant without a trunk Elephant without a Face !;?) winking French elephant, wearing a beanie :?)) Elephant with a double chin :?P Elephant sticking his tongue out :o) Elephant that morphed into a human after falling into a vat of chemicals :?)>>> Elephant with a goatee @@@ This is not an elephant icon. (?: Backwards elephant ) The Cheshire Elephant ************************************ The Section Where Other People Write ************************************ **To see your original, funny stories, poems, ideas, or whatever in this section, email melvan@pressenter.com Okey dokey...remember us writing those lists of how to know if you've been on irc too long? We got another one sent to us by mookie! Here it is: "Hey i think another way to tell you've been on IRC too long is 'you start to smile side ways'" ------------------ URGENT FME NEWS!!! ------------------ Our news for this week: qwertyuiop. ---------------- Dumb Poetry in a Card Type Trash ---------------- A poem...I think ---------------- Barney sucks canal water. melvan (thanx to Darin!) Sing to the tune of "Blue Danube" --------------------------------- I have a cold Sniff sniff sniff sniff I have a cold sniff sniff snort snort I have a cold snort snort honk honk I have a cold sneeze sneeze wheeze wheeze I have a cold cough cough snort snort I have a cold ACHOOOOOOO!! 'Scuse me... melvan & eener (wutg) Something eener wrote the other night... ---------------------------------------- There are three tractors sitting in a field One explodes... There are two left. There are two tractors sitting in a field One explodes... There is one left. One tractor, alone in a cruel world It becomes depressed and seeks counseling. eener (with help from melvan's memory) (wutg) :):):):):):):):):):):):):):) Come visit the Macheen Shed: http://www.pressenter.com/~melvan/macheen/ This document is copyright 1996 by Renee Elrod and Melissa Hoffmeyer, except for the poems, stories, and letters sent by other people. Feel free to distribute this document far and wide as long as it is not changed in any way. FME reserves the right to edit any material sent in (in regards to punctuation, spelling, content, AND bacon).