Issue #33, 3 June 1996

Thewriters      M       M       arestoopid
F               MM     MM       E               Farm Macheenery
F               M M   M M       E                 (exploding)
FFFFF           M  M M  M       EEEEE              Issue #33?
F               M   M   M       E
F               M       M       E
F               M       M       EEEEEEEEE
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The Writers (in no particular order):
Renee Elrod (aka eener): re11@uwrf.edu
Melissa Hoffmeyer (aka melvan): melvan@pressenter.com

Extra Staff:
Andy Hoffmeyer (aka Elkvis)
--DP's brother & computer expert

FME on the web:  http://www.pressenter.com/~melvan/macheen/
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Okay guys...this week we don't remember which issue this is, so if you can
tell us...YOU WIN A MILLION DOLLARS!!!!  Just kidding.  We can't afford
that kind of prize money.  This is a free zine, remember?

####################
AS THE TRACTOR BURNS
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

The Characters:
Raul:  played by Jim Varney
Esmerelda:  played by Roseanne
I.M. Gilty: played by O.J. Simpson
Howard Stern: played by Barney the Dinosaur
Al Rightithen: played by Jim Carrey
Buffy:  played by Princess Di

Last week on ATTB, we don't know what happened because we don't have last
week's issue anywhere near the computer we happen to be writing this issue
on...something having to do with Al's Presidential campaign...  So, I'm
sure you'll understand if this week's episode doesn't quite follow what
happened last week...not like it would have anyway...

FLASHBACK TO 1965...ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE BABIES OR TODDLERS...

Raul:  Do any of you know what's going on?
Buffy:  *looks around* Um....nope!!
Al:  WAAAAAAH!!!!!!
Howard:  You all are poopy heads!!!
I.M.:  (whining) I am not!!!
Howard:  Are too!
I.M.:  Am not!!!
Howard:  Are too are too are TOO!!!
I.M.:  Am not am not am NOT!!!!
Al:  *throws a stuffed pig at Howard*   You're stupid!
Howard: *grabs the pig and tears its head off*  Wow!  Everyone look at
this...there's money inside this pig!
Esmerelda:  That's not money...
Al:  I kin use this money for when I become president, when I'm a
grown-up!

FLASHFORWARD TO 1996...ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE BABIES OR TODDLERS...

Howard:  Hey you **%&$&$& people...let's get moving on this campaign work!
Al:  What, is it time for the bus tour already?  Yippee!!!! *singing* We
get to go for a ride, we get to go for a ride...
Buffy: *slaps Al with her purse*  Grow up, Al...we've already got a
lunatic for a President.

Join us next week, when we actually figure out what happens...or not....

AND NOW...ELEPHANT ICONS!!!

:?)     Basic elephant
:)      Elephant without a trunk
        Elephant without a Face
!;?)    winking French elephant, wearing a beanie
:?))    Elephant with a double chin
:?P     Elephant sticking his tongue out
:o)     Elephant that morphed into a human after falling into a vat of
        chemicals
:?)>>>  Elephant with a goatee
@@@     This is not an elephant icon.
(?:     Backwards elephant
  )     The Cheshire Elephant


************************************
The Section Where Other People Write
************************************
**To see your original, funny stories, poems, ideas, or
  whatever in this section, email melvan@pressenter.com

Okey dokey...remember us writing those lists of how to know if you've been
on irc too long?  We got another one sent to us by mookie!  Here it is:
"Hey i think another way to tell you've been on IRC too long is 'you start
to smile side ways'"

------------------
URGENT FME NEWS!!!
------------------

Our news for this week:  qwertyuiop.

----------------
Dumb Poetry in a
Card Type Trash
----------------

A poem...I think
----------------

Barney
sucks
canal
water.

melvan (thanx to Darin!)

Sing to the tune of "Blue Danube"
---------------------------------

I have a cold
Sniff sniff
sniff sniff
I have a cold
sniff sniff
snort snort
I have a cold
snort snort
honk honk
I have a cold
sneeze sneeze
wheeze wheeze
I have a cold
cough cough
snort snort
I have a cold
ACHOOOOOOO!!
'Scuse me...

melvan & eener (wutg)

Something eener wrote the other night...
----------------------------------------

There are three tractors sitting in a field
One explodes...
There are two left.
There are two tractors sitting in a field
One explodes...
There is one left.
One tractor,
alone in a cruel world
It becomes depressed and seeks counseling.

eener (with help from melvan's memory) (wutg)

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Come visit the Macheen Shed:  http://www.pressenter.com/~melvan/macheen/

This document is copyright 1996 by Renee Elrod and Melissa Hoffmeyer,
except for the poems, stories, and letters sent by other people.  Feel
free to distribute this document far and wide as long as it is not changed
in any way.  FME reserves the right to edit any material sent in (in
regards to punctuation, spelling, content, AND bacon).

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